What does it really mean to accept?
Meeting Prasad and Kahyee in this journey, it simply sparked a transition in all of us, from knowing to living. And the true meaning of acceptance surpasses a mere lip service we had been paying to all these years. Acceptance isn’t a check box. As simple as it seems, it really isn’t. Successfully managing the other, accepting the non-sugar coated habits and unconscious irking behaviours you never really knew but keeps coming, and overcoming the pain of choices, decisions and living with the flaws for the rest of your life is what it really means to fully acknowledge it.
I suppose the entire experience of growing up in a multiracial melting pot is by no means a limited experience to the rest of the homogenous community in Malaysia. And somewhere in this spectrum, lies a rising hybrid of mash up between the Chinese and Indians, more commonly referred to as ‘Chindians’.
Living in a country filled with racial slurs and perpetual labels constantly hurled in the twisted norm, it’s tough to come out of such rut. You probably grew up hearing things like “Chinese people are sly folks. They are very business-minded” or worst still, you see some people scrunching up their face when they walk past an Indian, judgingly commenting “You know, Indians always tend to have family drama”. With such preconceived notions that we are ashamed to somewhat admit is a part of the upbringing we all are subjected to, being in a relationship with another half of a different race would mean a lot of tolerance, patience, acceptance and respect. And it's not just about adapting to each other's cultures and practices, but more so to withstanding and learning to disregard societal's judgemental expectations.
Surely it was a long and arduous journey for both Prasad and Kahyee, but they made it to celebrate that differences aside in the name of love and choosing to accept each other and everything else that would come in between.
In the midst of the incandescent glows illuminating the iconic Balinese rooftops of Tamarind Springs, where it holds a bedazzling spectacle of brilliant smiles, a comfortable buzz of endearing chatters and a fusion of stories running across borders, race and religion, it was more than a mere gathering. It was the start of acceptance. It held an intimate number of people that mattered to them, housed simplicity and funk in the Lego, rustic-filled reception and most importantly, a blend of cultures that set aside their differences in the union of love and a growth of new found respect.
Fun fact, Prasad and Kahyee decided to embrace each other’s culture by having both an Indian ceremony at a traditional temple back in Ipoh and the bride-fetching and gate crashing Chinese tradition as well.
And so, you may ask what acceptance is once again? We learnt that acceptance is not about giving in and up, but acknowledging things outside of control as they are. It is not about condoning to things as it is, but truly understanding that we are at peace with the choices we make, and what life has given us. It doesn’t always mean that accepting proves you are weak and submissive, and how you always need to fight to get on top of things, or even to change the other half’s behaviour to your checkbox criteria. It is about choosing your attitude and response in times of doubt and despair. Above all, acceptance walks hand in hand with the most important attribute, Forgiveness.
This pair’s living testimony will always continue to stir our hearts and remind us of the many facets we are in and bound to face in life in which we need to practice what we preach.
So, what’s your take home lesson today?