I think that more often that than not, most people come to a common realization that planning their own weddings is common practice; one where you do it all yourself because you think you have it all figured out:
i.e. that amazing dress you saved a screenshot somewhere from Instagram, theme and décor sorted in the back of your mind, cute gifts from Taobao that you conveniently think you can custom tag it yourself for your 600 guests, beautiful rose gold foiled invites that you are oblivious to the fact how much they cost, AND but of course, the gorgeous Pinterest bridal bouquets that you have no idea you will absolutely flip when you find out that the cost price of fresh blooms is a bomb.
It seems to be common knowledge to us within the same shared wedding industry, that hiring a wedding planner is the way to go. But we are oblivious to the fact, not until we speak of this topic to close friends and relatives, that we stumble upon the fact that they do not grasp the importance of hiring one.
Trust us when we tell you, that as wedding planners we have seen a lot. A lot of emotions, of mistakes, of family love, of merriment, of forgiveness, and sometimes, of unforgiveness too. It is but a plethora of everything in that one day’s worth of celebration and often times, it gets way more overwhelming than one can fathom or comprehend.
We find that the happiest of marriages are those who are able to strike a balance between being detailed and being relaxed. And being relaxed comes with the assurance and state of mind to surrender all unsettled thoughts to that one you can trust, to let go and understand that it will all be okay.
I suppose we have all heard a story or two where the wedding did not exactly run as smoothly, and the thing is that this happens all the time. It isn’t about who to blame, but the gist of it is how these issues are managed with wisdom, grit and grace.
What most people tend to overlook are the nitty gritty details that never popped up until it happens or you tell them about it and they go… “Oh yeah! Gosh you’re right, it does make sense…what should I do?”.
Who is to standby for registration and gifts once the first march in begins, when all those in charge have gone in to join in the fun and there are still late comers who need to find out their seats? Should a planner not be involved, is there someone designated to cue the emcee and liaise with the banquet manager on when to serve the dishes and stop serving during those heartfelt speeches? Or what about getting that waiter to have the cake knife on standby and champagne flutes ready but then realizing they disappear when its just minutes before cake cutting ceremony?
Well guess what. Most of the time, family and friends are left to be given ‘the honour’ of helping in the wedding, scrambling from end to end, flustered and panicky, trying to solve these mishaps and adhoc requests and end up not being able to have time to eat at all, let alone enjoy the wedding.
To give an example to some of the things that have gone wrong based on experience:-
1. No Show: Generally, the makeup session happens the earliest in the morning, perhaps you can say even during the wee hours. Being humans, we are all equals, flawed and imperfect. And at times, fatigue gets the better of one. What if the makeup artist wakes up late, or does not turn up because he/she overslept, and the bride is left panicking and in tears as everyone is too busy preparing for the wedding in the morning to come to her rescue for what may seem a really breezy issue but is the most fundamental portion to complete the bride of the day. And this could happen to just about one of the many other things, such as live band, caterers etc that could end up being just as invinsible.
2. Alcohol Meltdown: There is no one to control the flow of hard liquor and wine throughout the night and it has been freely flowing even during the cocktail session without keeping tabs, and by the time the dinner has just begun, the couple finds the banquet manager running to them, informing that their alcohol is running out and many guests are requesting for more. By the end of the night, the newlyweds end up footing an unexpected bill in despair.
3. Family Feud: Every family has their own drama. More often than not, many members might have a different opinion on how their ideal wedding would be like for the couple, even if it isn’t any of their business, in retrospect. And when they start bickering over opinions and squabbling over disrespect because there isn’t a third part mediator with an unbiased opinion to help out, it leaves the couple defeated and their enthusiasm diminishes with the frustrating feud.
4. Stranded without Cues: Forgetting to assign someone to deal with the sound system could be nerve-wrecking, when there is no one to cue the wedding party when to walk in, or when to play the music at the right timing. There’s nothing more disastrous than walking down a quiet aisle or having the guests wait in silence while figuring out the music or its systems and overly reminding them the infamous quote
“We apologise for the technical difficulties”.
It’s true that we are always on a budget, and it is wise to be prudent and be good stewards of what we spend on. Most couples forget the fact that pulling off the actual day coordination is just as important as hiring the best photographer, having the most beautiful flowers or serving the best food in town. Put your minds to ease, especially on your biggest day of your lives. Let your aunt and maid of honour be your guest and enjoy the evening, and spend that little bit extra to hire someone that is able to execute everything for you no matter the scale of the wedding and ensure you can eat, live, love and laugh happily as you should on your celebrated day.
Most importantly, enjoy the journey. At the end of it all, it is alright even if some things doesn’t end up the way we exactly anticipated; let it go. Because in the imperfections, lies the most sincere of things that unfold.
Or, you can always hire a wedding planner, relax and clink your glasses to spending the rest of your lives together! Cheers.
by Eunice and Evelyn